Frozen, I think, for a while. A (perhaps inevitable) time out due to a nasty cold (I had been sickeningly healthy for months and months, and this came at the end of a clutch of auditions involving flying hither and thither like a mad thing), and the sudden descent of a shatteringly sub-zero winter spell have given the past few days a rather dreamlike and timeless quality.
But once past the fever-dream stage of illness, I find it invaluable to have a space in which to think, without the necessity of doing. So much of one's time as a singer is focused, full of forward momentum, goal-oriented - and that of necessity, because without such impetus it is not easy to keep one's head up and stay positive in these dark days for all artists - that it's easy to forget one also needs the introspective calm, necessary for the soul to breathe.
In the timeless space of reflection, the big questions swim up to the surface: why am I doing this? who AM I as a singer? is this the right path? is this the right aria? is this the right interpretation? how do I feel about this role? should I take this particular opportunity? what next? ... and are considered and weighed, and sink back down.
Once the temperature has given in a bit (minus 14 centigrade at one point today) and the cold has retracted its claws and I am once more firing on all cylinders, these musings will be virtually forgotten, but vitally important nevertheless - the iron at the core re-magnetised and pointing in the right direction, the swan's legs working busily yet unseen under the surface...
Well, I can but hope. In any event, a few days curled under the bedclothes means I'm rested and ready to take on the world!