Extraordinary, really, how difficult it can be to gauge the right energy for starting a rehearsal mid-opera. This morning we carried on from where we'd previously left off - a disturbingly confused scene, thrilling with energy, at the end of which I am left broken on the floor. However without the manic run-up, it was a real effort to summon up the requisite feelings and I found myself a lot more tired, vocally, than I had previously been. (Nothing worrying, and quite to be expected, seeing as how we'd repeated again and again a part where I break out into a self-righteous and triumphant yowl, written pretty much without breathing spaces to get a particular effect, all the while wrestling with a wriggling and angry tenor. Well, not really angry, and come to that, half the time not really wriggling either. He'd had the same energy dip as me - not to mention, wasn't one hundred percent averse to a woman in high heels and slinky dress grabbing him from behind and holding on tight...).

I am very grateful at this point, with such all-encompassing music surging through my veins, to have the luxury of distraction. Yesterday I watched a live webcast of a Rameau opera in which a friend was singing (fabulous! and very, very funny); this evening I am looking forward to a Bellini Romeo and Juliet featuring my colleagues. I love premieres; I have fished out a sexy evening dress, bunged my hair up and carefully fixed in the glorious winged diamante earrings which make me feel so glamorous. The fact that I'm now going to stick a leather jacket over the lot and cycle to the theatre is neither here nor there; and I may have mentioned before that cycling is fantastic if you're wearing ridiculously high shoes - you don't really have to walk far! I intend to take my time cycling, too - spring is in the air. Yesterday for the first time this year I went jacket-free during the day, and even though the sun has now set, the birds in their spring frenzy haven't yet realised, so the air is rich with their song.

Excuse me while I go and paint my claws blood-red in preparation!

The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it*

My fledgelings have flown the nest; they've dared to spread their wings and fly (damn, now I'll have Summertime knocking around my head for the foreseeable...) and I wish them all the very best in the world.

The mother, mind, I had to boot off the balcony. I'm very sorry, pigeon, but you've raised one lot successfully, and I need to keep the Hausmeister's wife sweet.

A very definite change of season, here; I spent yesterday cycling and walking around the woods, and whilst the heat has not yet quite gone from the sun, I felt a tang in the air, the occasional whiff of smoke, and in the breathless silence ripe nuts were falling from the trees. Leaves are starting to change colour, the world turns...

There's even talk of starting rehearsals for the Offenbach this week! Hooray! (Although I am - curious? - to see what the staging will be - the make-up artist I talked to while she was painting and powdering and primping me for my photo shoot grinned and whispered - verrückt. This basically means totally insane, and considering how many German stagings are bonkers, you'd have thought they'd got used to it by now, so for her to grin like that... hmm! Let's hope that (a) it's crazy enough to be funny and (b) I get to hang on to enough clothing not to scare the audience to death...)

* Marcus Aurelius. What??? I binge-read the thrillers in English I fished out from the library, so the Meditations it is.

Seeing red...

OK, I will admit you'll probably have to be English to appreciate this one, but today I saw both a red squirrel and a red deer in the wild!

I woke up this morning convinced I simply had to wander through woods - yesterday was wonderfully hot, and I spent a lot of it in an open-air pool on an island, which was fabulous but left me with slightly pink patches in rather odd places (tankini slipped... what can I say?). So today I resolved to find a gorgeous German wood and walk serenely through it. I headed west on my trusty bike - only to damn near scupper myself because it was SO hard to get there! Having headed back on a roll, virtually without pedalling, I realise that the entire journey was probably on a slight, unnoticeable incline - but in the immense heat of the day (and it was hot - especially compared to recent London temperatures!) my poor thighs were complaining loudly. I overruled them, and ended up (eventually) in some lovely woods; exactly what I needed. Several hours went by with me happily switching between riding the bike and pushing it along; I had a super time.

The best moments were a red deer leaping across my path (literally - I nearly crashed into her! She flew into the air about a foot in front of me, a flash of bright copper from right to left, then was gone. Far too quickly to fish out the point-and-click!) The squirrel, however, squirted up a tree, but couldn't resist looking back down at me and winking. It may not be the sharpest photo ever, but it gave me huge amounts of pleasure. (A RED squirrel! Whilst I actually love the grays - at one point my family were taking care of one - obviously called Nutkin - and I took it into town in the cowl of my jumper - some interesting reactions when his little head peered out in the coffee house! - I don't think I've ever seen a red squirrel in the wild, and this was special to me.)

Now going abroad from abroad - Italy is my destination, so no more posts for at least a week. I am really looking forward to a break. However last week felt like such - it occurred to me today that the last time I had felt this free was the the time between finishing my finals at Cambridge and getting the results. I remember quite a bit of fizzy wine and the pool at Emma - bliss! I am so lucky to revisit that feeling!