Of course there's a long way to go before I am fluent, but it's nice to feel that I am progressing.
The sheer concentration that is still required, though, is huge. By the end of an hour and a half my head was aching badly from the energy expended. For that reason, it has been very refreshing to attend a couple of English-language events in the past week. I know it's just a phase, but there is something about this particular stage in learning a language that makes one feel like a child amongst adults; you vaguely understand the undercurrents but seldom dare interject, in case you have misunderstood. The result, as I know from a few recent evenings out speaking only German, is that you feel as though you have mislaid your personality; and that which has replaced it is BORING! So speaking the occasional bit of English at this point seems invaluable. (Although I have to admit to accidentally failing to speak English at the last one, which seems utterly perverse - one of the other attendees was French, and in the course of a deep discussion it would seem we slipped unknowingly into speaking French; rapped on the knuckles, we apologised and the evening continued in English, but I was secretly delighted to find that my French had not disappeared for good - it was evidently buried at a level only accessible at present after a couple of glasses of wine!)
I'm going to keep in mind your description of how you felt like a child when I am with people who are struggling to learn and speak English. They must feel like that too. But no one ever describes the feeling. It never occurs to me that the real personality of the person trying to talk may actually be different than their "real" one.
ReplyDeleteHeadaches can always be fixed with more booze... Which will probably help with making you feel more confident speaking any language too. Whether anyone could understand you? *shrugs* Does it really matteR?
ReplyDelete