Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Unexpected side effect of this damned knee injury:  my buttocks have declared war on me!  Yes, those poor overworked bunches of muscle, to which I had frankly never paid that much attention, have decided that they would be far better off without the rest of me and are threatening to secede.  The way they are feeling at the moment, I am inclined to let them...

First it was the right buttock, taking ALL the strain when I was oiking myself around on two crutches.  When there can be no weight at all on the left leg, there's only one possible pivot when heaving oneself to a standing position or trying to sit without crashing inelegantly and painfully back into sitting.  One side which has to take all the strain when standing, and, naturally, one buttock which bravely bore all the strain for about three days before protesting in the strongest possible terms against this unfair distribution of labour.  I apologised profusely but the resulting sulk built to epic proportions.

Then there was the left buttock.  After weeks of inactivity, it was finally forced to do its bit as I abandoned the crutches and attempted, hampered only slightly by the fabulously cyborg-like knee brace, to walk without a limp.  All that time listing desperately to one side really takes its toll on the musculature, and it requires conscious effort at all times to pull errant limbs into place (whilst attempting to avoid bashing the right inner knee with the brace, which totally spoils the effect, what with all the swearing and stuff).  And the cramps and aches as the left buttock finally had to pull its weight, after so much time out... well, let's just say, I had to have severe words with it.  Turning the other cheek is not all it's cracked up to be (erm, so to speak!).

And finally, now that I am back on my beloved bike (oh, the freedom!  The wind in my hair - OK a lot of it actually blowing sideways, it having turned rather viciously into autumn, rather than streaming through my flowing locks, but you get the idea; the sun on my face - yes, yes, mixed with a bit of rain, but I MISSED being mobile so much!), both aspects of my gluteus maximus are up in arms (wait; very dodgy figure of speech there; sorry).  The knee itself is quietly doing its stuff while I am cycling, humbly aware of the trouble it has caused and trying wholeheartedly to improve.  But ohhhhhh the pain in the backside that comes from renewed acquaintance with the saddle!

On a serious note, I am however all too aware that all of this shrinks into insignificance compared to the health problems of others.  A wonderful friend, one of my sources of true inspiration in overcoming whatever obstacles life chooses to throw in one's direction has again been clobbered without cause by the universe, and this time, despite all her courage, strength, and relentlessly dangerous sense of humour, could probably do with all the positive thoughts there could be.  So if anyone has time to send good wishes speeding towards the Blue Mountains in Australia in this coming week, please do so!  Get well soon, Carol x

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